"i subconsciously wanted to lick your face"

Things i loved about today:

1. 9am class debate on a child with two mommies
2. using the phrase 'lesssbiiihonest' during that debate
3. 'accidentally' sitting on a complete strangers lap on the bus
4. being called a little boy because 'my life revolves around dinosaurs'
5. watching dinosaur eggs hatch in my dino oatmeal
6. ellie goulding
7. making someone laugh so hard they pee their pants
8. hearing graphic stories of all the other times this person has peed their pants
9. trueblood
10. offensive conversations with amelia..using sign language..while trueblood is paused.

I'm a firm believer in the beauty of the little things in life, and if vampires and the awkwardness of sitting on a strange man's lap can't bring you joy...i don't know what will.

oh and blogger, forgive me for being so negligent..i promise i'll be better.

xoxo

I got you dancin'

So me and robby had this sudden urge to make cookies, but not just any kind of cookies, oatmeal cookies, and not just any kind of oatmeal cookies, white chocolate cranberry oatmeal cookies. Why? i have no idea. We made a special trip to meijer to buy the appropriate ingredients, and now i have enough flour and sugar to last a lifetime of cookie fun.

omg fresh out the oven! they are sooooooo delish!


[side note]
i bought printer paper today and it came with 4 blue spruce seeds. "plant a tree today for a sustainable tomorrow" Oh sure, you prolly just killed a million trees making these 500 sheets of multipurpose paper that i will be printing out pointless lesson plans on, but sure i'll plant a spruce in a pot. i was SO stoked nonetheless.


okay, so i'm pretty sure chapstick has some sort of addictive substance in it. I apply it every 5 minutes, and that is no exaggeration. I forgot it in my apartment today when i went to friendshop, and i was a wreck. I was panicky and kept searching around in my pockets like a drug addict looking for that last meth crystal. Luckily one of the friendshop kid's mom had a tube that she was willing to share. Yes, i used a strangers chapstick. Don't judge me, i was having withdrawals.

xoxo

to blog or not to blog

...
















not to blog.

Blogosaurus Rex

Rawr. I'm at the library, yet again. There are two more weeks until finals, and i have a feeling i'm going to live here 78.9% of that time. I don't think i really want to discuss this semester ending because my whole world is basically graduating and leaving me. It's weird to think about life here without these two particular pieces of my world, and frankly i don't wanna think about it. Maybe i will blog about that later when i'm not in public and can comfortably sit in my room and cry about it.

So, me and amelia are sprawled out on this couch, clearly not doing any work, and look like absolute douche bags because we both happen to be wearing tiedye. Totally unplanned, and totally embarrassing.That's how amused i am about the situation. But, on a totally crafty note, i tie-dyed that shirt myself and loved every minute of it. I feel like i need to set aside more time for crafts. I want to be one of those cool moms with a big craft bin, and embroider dinosaurs on my crew neck sweaters that i wear to PTA meetings. Yeah i wanna be a teacher, but my passion is in my needlework.


I feel like i may overuse commas. I put them wherever i please, and sometimes they are just completely unneeded. If i had it my way, i would use at least 5 in every sentence, but that might be pushin' it. I would love to start using semicolons, but i would need a semicolon 101 course, and i am just not that committed to the usage of semicolons.

So today while we were suppose to be doing a literacy lesson, me and my 4th grade study child played the 'MASH' game, and don't pretend like you didn't play it all day every day in middle school.

She had never played before and went nutz at the idea when i told her about it, almost as nutz as i went when she showed me her new miley cyrus/hannah montana tee. She didn't quite get the rules at first, because the first time she picked her brother for one of the boys and ended up marrying him, but i don't judge. She made me play like 19 times, and she had different boys each time, whatta hussy! I got to get one turn in, and i can't wait for my future to unfold:

I am married to Justin Timberlake, live in a trailer, drive an icecream truck, and i am a singer. I have a hunch we may sing a duet on our wedding day.


'Drink that frosty, chugga freeze' totally just popped into my head!
Please tell me someone remembers the cartoon 'The Weekenders' Me and my brother use to watch it on 1 saturday morningggggg every week. I wish it was still on; i would totally still be a loyal watcher.

Did i just use that semicolon correctly?

xoxo

blogger's block

LoveBug20111989: oh and if you shit your pants you have to blog about it

hahahah classic. well, i didn't shit my pants..but i'm still gonna blog.

So i have lost all sense of time. I woke up at 3:30am this morning, like, for the day. I had been sleeping for over 12 hours because i crashed yesterday at about 3pm. It was suppose to be a power nap. It turned out to be an episode of naps gone wild. What the fuck am i suppose to do with myself when my day is my night and my night is my day? My roommate was passed out on the couch, and i wasn't about to sit there in the dark like a vampire. So i came to the library, clearly. I think i might find it oddly comforting here. It has become my new home. Despite the fact that my only human contact in the last 3 hours was the maintenance man on a ladder all up in the ceiling in my 'group study room', who was trying to make me giggle with weird inappropriate jokes. I should have asked him to stay and play.

Right there with my sense of time, i also lost my phone. I think they are forming some sort of boycott against me. I lost it in my sleep. I tried to find it when i woke up at 3am, but the search was done helen keller style. I couldn't see a thing it was so dark, so i was feeling around like i was trying to read braille. Obviously that did not go well.

I am drinking one of my new favorite beverage discoveries. I have become obsessed. It is Bolthouse Farms Vanilla Chai Tea.Sooooooo delish. I feel like i should get some sort of cut from Bolthouse for advertising it.....to my 2 blog followers.

I finally finished my project yesterday, and had to present it to my professor like 5 minutes after i finished. I was a nervous bervous, but it ended up being more like a date than a presentation. It was casual, we chatted about other things, i was weird and giggly because i have a big fat home wrecking crush on him. Clearly it went well. He told me to call him. Sure, he told that to everyone in my class and it was if we had any questions about our last project but still, the way he said it to me clearly insinuated that he wants me to be his baby momma. You weren't there, you don't know!

Welp, the sun is coming up now..guess its time for bed?

xoxo

WWJD

So, it's night two at the library. The progress on my project is weak sauce.
Last night me and Amelia were being total all-nighter posers. We accomplished nothing productive in the 789 hours that we were here..unless you call blogging, playing mafia wars, taking genius photos, and disrupting actual studiers with our laughter productive. I am not fucking around tonight. Shit is getting done. I am taking a well earned break to blog right now. People deserve blog breaks! It's inhumane to suggest i spend the whole night at the library without blogging.

I spent the first half of the night at the union instead of the lib for two reasons:

1. Grande Caramel Big Chill
2. The smell of the stairwells*

*I am still in the process of researching, but i am almost certain you can get orgasms from smells. It is hands down the most amazing, delicious smell i have ever let my nose experience. It's not like i set up shop in the stairwell and do homework, but i do linger for over 2 minutes. Second best orgasm i've ever had, i'm just sayin'.

While closing time was creeping close, i was pondering possible hiding spots to lengthen my stay. Do they really check all the rooms before they lock up and leave? And i wasn't just pondering for me, i was pondering for the homeless. Sometimes it's these simple thoughts that save lives. Just lookin' out for my 'homies'.

The union closes at 2am, so i had to relocate to the library. They can close the building, but they can never close my will to study! Which brings me to the whole point of my blog: I have awoken this morning with the stigmata of Jesus on my hand!


Like, are you kidding me? HOW did i get a bruise there? How does someone wake up with crucifixion wounds on their hand? If i was catholic, or didn't bruise easily, i would be worshiping my sore hand. I think Jesus is trying to tell me something, and it is probably something along the lines of 'go do your fucking project'

xoxo

I'm hot cuz i blog, you aint cuz you don't

Cleeeearly i only blog when i am suppose to be doing something else, and that is what brings me here this evening. Lucky you. I am sitting in the library with my girlfriend, who i just convinced to make a blog, and now she has vowed to be a blogaholic. She's going to need rehab, and i don't think i'm commited enough to stick by her side for that. She is also a whore of a distraction. I mean, i guess its a good distraction...if you like whores. My screen has sauce smears on it from when i spit out a whole mouthful of noodles at my computer because that whore of a distraction showed me a picture of some homeless hooker. Giggle fits like that just make everything wrong with life seem okay, at least for the moment.

[Side Note]
I really want this:
Like, how fucking rad is that!

Anyways, i watched 'Seven Pounds' last night at like 2am. I was not ready for that. I don't think i am emotionally stable enough to watch a movie like that. I was a mess. I was in a glass case of emotion. I found it to be oddly inspiring, yet it made me think about my life as it is. I feel this overwhelming pull to find myself and my purpose. Of course i love what i am studying here, and i don't regret my career path, but there are so many other things i want to do in life. I have these passions for traveling, and music, and photography, and writing. I want to stand up for what i believe in. I want to volunteer as much as possible. I want to make a difference. I want to show the world who i really am and what i can become. I feel like i am being held back. I struggle with this sense of identity, not in the way that i am like pretending to be someone i am not right now, but in a way that i want to step out of my element, surround myself with positive people that inspire me, and just enjoy life and be able to express myself however i want. I was up thinking about this all last night after that devil of a movie. It was actually a nice thinking sesh, eye-opening.

So, i took out my eyebrow ring for good and my face feels really weird without it, but it was time. I needed a change.

The gf just sent me this obnoxiously sad video that made me shed a tear, in the library. Cool. It related to pretty much everything i just blogged about, which was weird but also inspiring. Heres a quote i snagged from it:

"Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; try to be who you really are"

Oh! and i finally decided what i want for my tattoo, and possibly the location. Maybe i will tell you about it later. Maybe not.

tuesday, wednesday, happy days!

I have had the happy days theme song stuck in my head ALL day. Like, why?! I don't watch happy days. I don't secretly have the seasons on DVD and slip them in when no ones home. Do they even have the show on DVD? I don't secretly have a huge crush on 'the fonz' and hum the theme song to myself to fantasize about him. Why do i even know that name? I don't think i've EVER seen the show; not even for a second on TV Land, passing by on my way to TLC or ABC family. Get the fuck outta my head Happy Days.

Yesterday was an eventful day for so many reasons. For one, i fell in love with my 4th graders, and i don't typically like 4th graders, them specifically. It may have been because i felt high. I think it was either a mixture of no sleep+lots of caffeine, or the mary J i smoked before class(not really, i don't smoke). During the one-on-one time with my study child, we decided time that was dedicated to literacy activities would be better spent playing the game 'see who laughs first' while in an intense stare down, discussing our views of Miley Cyrus vs Hannah Montana, doing a failed attempt at a cartwheel in the hallway, and me accidentally calling cursive writing 'kinky'. Overall, I'd say we accomplished much more than intended.

I also ate some very questionable cottage cheese. I mean, what do expiration dates REALLY mean these days? I don't think cottage cheese even gets bad, but if it does, that cottage cheese was definitely bad. I was frightened for my life after i ate an ample amount and THEN saw the expiration date. I was like a walking suspense novel. Turns out, cottage cheese that is 3 weeks past its expiration date is still a healthy, tasty treat.

The hands down best part of my day was seeing Santa Claus by Wells Hall. I shit you not this man was Kris Kringle. White Hair, White Beard, Sack full of toys. He tried to play it cool with an ALL green sick jogging outfit. YOU CAN'T FOOL ME KRIS! clearly i slipped him my wish list for this Christmas and yelled 'wheres your reindeer fucker'.

Blog yo face off

So i sit here trying to find anything and everything to do that does not include reflection symmetry and proving why a rhombus is a parallelogram. I find it necessary to stray from studying for my math exam until the last possible minute because honestly, i despise rhombi and am not particularly fond of parallelograms either. I also don't quite understand why i get razzed so hard in class for calling more than one rhombus 'rhombi'. It seems perfectly fine to me. If they don't want to speak my sophisticated math jargon, that is their own prob. Sure, say rhombuses, you sound like a d-bag.

I don't blog. Really i am doing this to kill time, time that should not be killed, time that i should rather embrace the life of with rhombi. A dear friend of mine, whose name shall go unmentioned for my own sake, started blogging and i find it oddly entertaining to read. It is now bookmarked, which is how you know it is important, right above dictionary.com and below Perez. At least i have my priorities straight.

Okay, I've learned to accept that awkward things just happen to me and most times i embrace them, but seriously?! I am sprawled out on this couch, basically making myself at home and i see someone walking towards me, smiling. He says 'Hiiiiiiii' in this crazy high pitched voice. I'm thinking okay that was weird, i don't think i know you. I am not generally a rude person, especially to high pitched voiced strangers, so i throw out a 'Heyyyyy' in an equally creepy high pitched voice. He is startled and shocked by my response and says 'oh' while he is uncomfortably pointing behind me to the person that he was obviously saying hi to. Like, YOU HAVE TWO LAZY EYES then sir! you were clearly looking at me, and don't pretend you weren't. He should be embarrassed for himself, yet sadly, i know he was just embarrassed for me. I mean, the situation could had gone differently if i had not chose to use the high pitched creepy voice, but you know, sometimes you can't help how your voice comes out when strangers fake approach you.

For future reference, if i had to be a polygon i think i would want to be an octagon, because it rhymes with 'octomom'. Okay, well it doesn't rhyme, but same fucking diff. She's a cunt, and I'm going to steal her children.

study time!